WEIRD SCIENCE MEETS LAST ACTION HERO

I wrote WEIRD SCIENCE MEETS LAST ACTION HERO a number of years ago and recently updated it a bit. I posted the first 30 pages of the script below. If anybody has time to read them, please tell me what you think. Frankly, I'm on the fence about doing anything with this script, so both negative and positive feedback would be very helpful. Even if you read ten pages or so and tell me what you think so far I would appreciate hearing your reaction. Thanks!

NOTE: the formatting may be a little off because I had to cut and paste the script. So please disregard.

WEIRD SCIENCE MEETS LAST ACTION HERO

by matt burns

WGA Registered #1193808

Synopsis: Two nerdy teens discover a magic VCR that allows them to pull their favorite movie star JOHNNY CRUISE out of the movies and into the real world. With Johnny Cruise as their friend, they are convinced that they will become the most popular kids in school!

But when Johnny begins to slip in and out of movie roles, talk in cinematic cliches, initiate all sorts of needless drama, create BIG explosions and spontaneously engage in chase/fight sequences, the two mischievous teens realize they've created a monster that is more REEL than REAL, and he's only going to make their lives worse than they already are.

Int. Video Store. Night

It is one of the first video stores to be born out of the video age, complete with sketchy adult video closet in the back.

The store's interior looks not too much different from a library - plain walls with some movie posters and marquis lights, buzzing fluorescent lights on the ceiling, tacky orange wall-to-wall carpeting etc. This is a pre-Blockbuster, independently-owned type of deal.

The owner of the store - MR. CRAVEN - is at the front desk, waiting on a CUSTOMER. He is a middle-aged man with coke-bottle glasses and salt-n-pepper hair growing out the sides of his head. As far as video store clerks go, he is one of the best.

MR. CRAVEN

Last four of your phone number, please.

Customer

Seven-three-three-five.

MR. CRAVEN

Last name?

CUSTOMER

Barnes.

MR. CRAVEN

Thank you...

MR. CRAVEN scans the videotapes into his 1980s-era, IBM computer. Then he places the videos on the other side of the counter, beyond the security gate that stops thieves.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

And...there ya are. Enjoy the videos.

The CUSTOMER passes through the security gate, grabs the videos and leaves the store.

MR. CRAVEN sees the CUSTOMER off and then takes a peek at his digital watch:

Closing time!

He steps out from behind the counter and the customer-friendliness leaves his face. A look of sheer madness replaces it.

He peers through the store window and scopes out the parking lot outside the store:

It is completely deserted. The CUSTOMER has left the area.

He flips the store's 'open' sign over so that it says...

CLOSED!

MR. CRAVEN'S eyes churn with excitement, like those of a mad scientist.

Lock!

Shackle!

Snap!

MR. CRAVEN secures the entrance with three different locks.

Int. Video store - at window. night

MR. CRAVEN closes the Venetian blinds that cover the store windows.

Int. Video store - back of the store. night

MR. CRAVEN tip-toes up to a shelf stocked with various videos. He looks both ways to make sure nobody is still in the store.

Then he removes a video entitled "Sister Act meets Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!" from the shelf.

There is a lever behind it!

MR. CRAVEN takes another peek over his shoulder, just to be completely sure he is alone.

He pulls the lever!

Suddenly, the wall of videos starts to rotate. It's a secret passage!

MR. CRAVEN takes one last peek over his shoulder, just to be absolutely sure nobody is still in the store:

Yes, the store is definitely deserted. Nothing but the eerie flickering/buzzing of fluorescent lights.

MR. CRAVEN steps into the secret passageway and disappears into darkness.

The wall rotates back into place.

Int. Laboratory. Night

It's a secret laboratory!

The laboratory is filthy, dusty and covered with cobwebs - not much different from some crazy scientist's lab in a 1950s science fiction film. Lots of beakers and Bunsen burners and flasks, not to mention those electrode thingys that buzz.

A raven named MAXWELL is perched in the corner of the room, overlooking the laboratory.

MR. CRAVEN enters the lab and grabs a white lab coat from off a cob-webbed chair.

MAXWELL squawks as if to say hello to the wacky MR. CRAVEN.

There is the wildest of all looks in MR. CRAVEN'S eyes.

MR. CRAVEN

Ah, Maxwell...this is it, my darling. This is the night!!!

MAXWELL flutters his wings and squawks in delight.

MR. CRAVEN covers his store uniform with the lab coat and walks over to a table in the middle of the lab.

On the table lies MR. CRAVEN'S latest experiment. It is no monster, no corpse, no Frankenstein, no Bride of Frankenstein...

It is a machine!

But not just a machine - a VCR.

And not just any VCR. It is one of the most super-duper-looking VCR's ever imagined.

MR. CRAVEN takes a small screwdriver out of his coat pocket and adjusts one of the screws on this amazing machine.

MR. CRAVEN (cont'D)

With a twist of this screw here, Maxwell, my creation will be complete!!!

MR. CRAVEN turns the screw as tightly as he can, wipes his forehead of the sweat, and takes a step back from his creation.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

At last, it is finished!

He stares at the machine, wild-eyed.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

Years and years of work have gone into this experiment, Maxwell. And tonight we shall enjoy the fruits of our hard labor!!!

MAXWELL squawks in delight.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

Yes, tonight, Maxwell! Tonight is the night! The moment has finally arrived!!!

Cackles bubble up MR. CRAVEN'S throat.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!

MAXWELL flutters his wings and squawks.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

Ahahahahahahahaha!!!

The cackles become more and more violent.

MR. CRAVEN (CONT'D)

Ahahaha! Ahahaha! Ha-ha! HA!!!

But, suddenly, something is wrong.

MR. CRAVEN'S face turns blue. He grabs his shoulder.

His eyeballs pop out of their sockets.

His face turns bluer.

He collapses to the floor.

He is dead.

MAXWELL flies off his perch and flutters over to MR. CRAVEN'S carcass.

He perches himself on MR. CRAVEN'S shoulder and pokes his master with his beak - making sure he is, indeed, dead.

But there's no doubt about it. MR. CRAVEN has had a massive heart attack and he's a dead man.

Several years later...

Int. Wyatt'S bedroom. Morning

The room looks like that of a typical teenager, with one slight difference:

Every poster on the wall is of movie superstar JOHNNY CRUISE - in various poses and as various movie characters.

"Johnny Cruise in 'Edward Scissorhands meets E.T.'".

"Johnny Cruise in 'Speed meets Die Hard 2'".

"Johnny Cruise in 'Blair Witch Project meets The Ring'".

And many, many more.

Bbbbbbrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggggg!!! An alarm clock rings.

There is rustling beneath the bed covers.

Soon, a hand emerges and reaches for the alarm.

Bbbbbbbbbrrrrrr-

The alarms stops.

A head emerges from the bed covers. It's WYATT - 16 years old. His face is pimply and his mouth is full of metal.

He rolls to his side and talks to somebody sleeping next to him on the bed.

Wyatt

Good morning. How'd you sleep? Yeah? That's good.

This 'somebody' in the bed is a yearbook resting on a pillow. The yearbook is open to a page with a photo of a girl: LINDSAY MYERS - a beautiful brunette babe. The girl of WYATT'S dreams.

There is a big heart drawn around her photo.

WYATT kisses the photo like it's his wife.

Int. Gary's bedroom. Morning

This particular bedroom is decked out in as many JOHNNY CRUISE posters as WYATT'S.

"Johnny Cruise in 'American Pie meets Old School'"

"Johnny Cruise in 'Mighty Ducks meets Rudy'"

And..."Johnny Cruise in 'Sister Act meets Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!'"

Bbbbbbrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggggg!!! An alarm clock goes off.

There is rustling beneath the bed covers.

A hand emerges from the sheets, reaches for the alarm and shuts it off.

Bbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrr-

The alarm stops.

There is more rustling beneath the covers. A head emerges.

This is GARY - 16 years old. His hair is frazzled and cow-licked. He also wears a retainer in the form of a head piece. In fact, if you picture Anthony Michael Hall in any 1980s John Hughes movie and you have a pretty good idea of what Gary looks like.

GARY starts to get out of bed, but something is preventing him from doing so. He sighs, rolls his eyes, lifts up his sheets and looks down to his crotch area.

Gary

(to his crotch)

Oh, gees. Calm down. Do you ever rest?

He waits a moment.

Gary (CONT'D)

I'm not getting outta this bed 'til you settle down.

He waits another moment.

Gary (CONT'D)

Look, I KNOW you want some action! I want some action too. But I'm never gonna get laid lying in this bed all day.

He waits another moment...

Gary (CONT'D)

Come on...

And another moment...

Gary (CONT'D)

Little more...

And another moment.

He starts to get up, but stops in his tracks.

GARY (CONT'D)

Little more.

He waits another moment.

Gary (CONT'D)

Thank you.

He hops out of bed.

Int. school - hallway. day

It's your typical high school from any teen movie. You got your JOCKS, NERDS, GOTHS, DRAMA QUEENS, all hanging out in their respective cliques. Then there's your one SKATEBOARDER rolling down the hall. Also, there are posters that say "Beat Natick!" referring to an upcoming football game between the two rival schools.

WYATT weaves his way through all the HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS. Crumpled balls of paper and paper airplanes hit him on the shoulder. Sometimes they even hit him on the head.

He takes the blows like a champ.

Soon, there is a VOICE.

voice

Hey! Wyatt! Wait up!!!

It's WYATT'S best friend GARY.

Gary

(catching up with his friend)

Did it come in yet?

Wyatt

What? "Weird Science meets Last Action Hero"?

Gary

No, "Bambi meets Little Mermaid"! What do YOU think?

Wyatt

Yeah, a whole bunch came in yesterday. We can watch it at the store tonight.

They disappear into a classroom.

Int. classroom - the front. DAY

The front of the classroom consists of a large blackboard and also a desk with a wooden podium on top of it.

MR. CHADWICK - early 50s - paces between the desk and the blackboard, holding a beat-up paperback book in his hand. He wears big eye glasses, a bow tie and a suit. If you looked up 'intellectual' in the dictionary, you would undoubtedly find a picture of MR. CHADWICK.

Mr. chadwick

And thus we arrive at one of the most beautifully written passages in the history of literature. Let's turn our focus to...

He grabs a piece of chalk and scrawls out the words "red sweater" on the chalkboard.

Mr. chadwick (CONT'D)

...the red sweater. One of the most brilliant figurative devices ever to be placed on a blank page.

Int. Classroom - the back. Day

GARY and WYATT sit in the waaaaaaaaaay back of the classroom.

WYATT has his eyes on a girl sitting diagonally across from him:

It's LINDSAY MYERS! The beautiful brunette who was in WYATT'S yearbook.

LINDSAY feels a set of eyes on her and glances over to WYATT.

WYATT quickly looks away.

GARY, on the other hand, is busy staring at the GIRL sitting directly in front of him.

The GIRL'S sweater is wicked short...so short that much of her lower back - and even a little of her underwear - is visible.

GARY nearly drools at the sight of the GIRL'S pink underwear.

Int. ClassROOM - the front. DAY

MR. CHADWICK continues his lecture.

Mr. chadwick

Class, I want you to tell me what this red sweater is a symbol of.

He searches the room for raised hands.

MR. CHADWICK (CONT'D)

Anyone? Anyone? Class?

Int. ClassrOOM - the back. DAY

WYATT shoves his face into his notebook so he won't get called on.

Wyatt

(to himself)

Don't pick me...please don't pick me.

GARY, however, just keeps drooling away at the underwear. He doesn't really give a darn if he gets called on.

Int. classroOM - the front. DAY

MR. CHADWICK searches the room for a raised hand. Soon, he spots one.

It's from a student sitting in the front row: a smug-looking JOCK named GREG.

MR. CHADWICK'S eyes twinkle at the sight of GREG'S raised hand.

Mr. chadwick

Yes, Greg!

GREG has a pile of index cards hidden within his crotch. He nonchalantly glances at them and says...

GREG

I feel that the sweater is...

The top card has "ostensibly" written on it.

GREG (CONT'D)

...ostensibly a good example of the writer's use of...

He flips to another card with "semiotics" written on it.

GREG (cONT'D)

...semiotics. But, then again, I'd also say that the...

Then, to another random card that says "connotations."

GREG (cONT'D)

...connotations of the passage seem to indicate a...

The last card has 'paradox' written on it.

Greg (cONT'D)

...paradox.

MR. CHADWICK nearly humps his wooden podium in intellectual excitement.

mr. chadwick

Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh. That's a very interesting observation, Greg.

A smug smile crawls up GREG'S face. What a teacher's pet!

MR. CHADWICK nearly has an orgasm from all the mental stimulation.

Mr. chadwick (CONT'D)

Anyone else want to comment on this passage?

Int. ClassrooM - the back. DAY

GARY continues staring at the GIRL'S underwear.

And WYATT continues staring into his notebook.

Wyatt

(to himself)

Pleeeeeeze, don't pick me.

Int. Classroom - the front. DAY

MR. CHADWICK spots Wyatt in the way back.

Mr. chadwick

Wyatt! How about you?

Int. ClaSSROOM - the back. DAY

WYATT hears his name and knows he's doomed.

Wyatt

(under his breath)

Oh, shit.

He lifts his face out of his notebook.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

Ummm...well...

Everybody in class turns around and stares at him...

Including Lindsay Myers!

WYATT'S heart races. He loosens his collar to let in some air. His forehead mists with perspiration.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

Uh...I think it's a symbol of...hope???

Int. Classroom - the front. DAY

MR. CHADWICK'S face droops into a look of complete disappointment.

Mr. chadwick

Hope???

Int. ClassrOOM - the bacK. DAY

WYATT tries to calm his heart with deep-breathing exercises.

Int. ClassROOM - the front. DAY

MR. CHADWICK is completely devastated by what he just heard come out of WYATT'S mouth.

Mr. chadwick

Uh...no. I don't think that's it. Not at all.

(addressing the class)

Boys and girls...boys and girls. Up here, please.

The STUDENTS look away from WYATT and turn their attention to MR. CHADWICK.

Mr. chadwick (CONT'D)

Please make a note of Wyatt's comment because that's the kind of thing I'd prefer not to hear. We only have a limited amount of time to discuss these passages and we can't waste it with comments like Wyatt's.

A handful of STUDENTS in the classroom giggle at WYATT'S stupidity.

GREG lets out a smug sneer.

Int. Classroom - the back. DAY

GARY continues staring at the GIRL'S underwear.

Gary

(without making eye contact)

Nice goin', Wyatt.

Wyatt

(whispering)

Shut up.

Int. Cafeteria. day

The cafeteria is your typical high school deal with long, rectangular tables and built-in benches for seats. A couple of soda machines line the back wall. There are also some campaign posters for student council.

GARY and WYATT sit alone at a table in the way far corner of the cafeteria.

WYATT eats a crust-free peanut butter 'n fluff sandwich and washes it down with a Thermos of hot soup.

GARY plucks Tater-tots and chicken nuggets off of his plastic lunch tray. While he eats, he looks over to the opposite side of the cafeteria where there are all the "cool" tables. These are tables filled with HIGH SCHOOL HUNKS, BIG MEN ON CAMPUS, CLASS PRESIDENTS and JOCKS.

Gary

(sighing)

One of these days, Wyatt. One of these days we're gonna be popular. I can feel it.

WYATT takes his dessert out of his brown paper lunch bag. It's a cup of applesauce.

Wyatt

Face it, Gary. We don't have a chance. Nobody likes us.

GARY ignores his friend.

Gary

It's gonna happen, Wyatt. I can feel it.

Wyatt

Come on, Gary. High school just isn't our time to shine. Our day's gonna come later.

Gary

Everything's always later to you, Wyatt. You can't think like that.

He looks back over to the 'cool' tables.

Gary (CONT'D)

Yep, we're gonna be popular and you know what, Wyatt? We're gonna get laid. L...A...I...D - Laid!!!

Wyatt

OK, Gary. Whatever you say.

Suddenly, LINDSAY MYERS walks by their table. Well, 'walks' isn't the right word. She moves - with beauty, grace and style! Wow, what a knock-out! Every step she takes is more beautiful than a supermodel on a runway.

WYATT spots her in his periphery and does a double-take.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

Oh, God, there she is.

GARY looks where WYATT'S looking and sees what he's talking about.

Gary

Whoa! Lindsay Myers...

Their jaws drop as she walks past their table.

Gary (CONT'D)

(shaking his head in awe)

...she's got the cutest butt I've ever seen.

WYATT elbows GARY in the ribs.

Wyatt

Hey, watch what you say about my girl.

GARY turns to WYATT.

Gary

YOUR girl?! Ha! Go ask her out, then!

Wyatt

What? No way.

Gary

Seriously, Wyatt. If she's your girl, then go claim her.

Wyatt

I'm not asking her out, Gary. No way. Not...not now.

Gary

Oh, that's right. Maybe when you shine in college...or after college you'll get a good job and make a million bucks...or maybe after you die...maybe you'll be cooler in the afterlife. Sounds like a good plan.

WYATT gives his friend the hairiest of all hairy eyeballs.

Gary (CONT'D)

It's now or never, Wyatt.

WYATT looks like he might actually do it! He rests his plastic spoon on the rim of his applesauce cup and starts to lift his butt-cheeks off the bench. But...

Wyatt

No. I'm not.

Gary

Fine. I WILL, then.

GARY starts to get up.

Wyatt

No, wait! Wait!!! Sit down.

GARY sits back down.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

All right...OK. I'll do it.

WYATT takes a deep breath and gets up from the table.

Int. Cafeteria - window tables. day

LINDSAY MYERS sits on a bench overflowing with a bunch of other HOT BABES. The HOT BABES eat apple slices, bags of baby carrot sticks, crushed ice and other anorexic favorites.

WYATT approaches the table, his heart nervously pounding against his chest.

LINDSAY giggles with her HOT BABES.

WYATT moves closer...and closer to the table. He wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He moves closer and even closer...but stops a moment and looks back to GARY.

GARY waves WYATT on.

WYATT turns back around, takes a deep breath and resumes his journey to the table.

But, suddenly, that doofus jock GREG comes out of nowhere and sits beside LINDSAY at the table.

WYATT stops in his tracks.

GREG puts his arm around LINDSAY and then notices WYATT hovering by the table.

WYATT stares at him like a deer in headlights.

GREG stares back.

Greg

Well, what are YOU lookin' at?

All the HOT BABES sitting at the table (including LINDSAY) look up from the table and stare at WYATT.

WYATT is so embarrassed that he speed-walks the hell out of there.

Int. CafetERIA - gary and wyatt's table. DAY

GARY has been watching everything from his table. He can't believe how big of a wuss WYATT is.

Gary

(to himself)

Chicken shit.

Int. Video store. night

It's the very same video store that Mr. Craven worked at, only now it looks a little more modernized. Now, for example, it rents DVDs (in addition to VHS tapes).

There is a TV hanging from the wall in the corner of the store. A movie plays. A movie with Johnny Cruise.

WYATT (in store uniform) leans on the front-store counter, watching the movie intently.

JOHNNY CRUISE - your typical mid-30s A-list movie star - is in the middle of a love scene:

Int. Bedroom. Night (on TV)

JOHNNY sits on the edge of a bed, next to a beautiful LEADING LADY.

Johnny (V.O.)

She came like an angel out of heaven. I took one look at her and knew she was the one...

The two lovers lock their eyes into a romantic gaze and lean in for a kiss. They kiss passionately for a few moments and then they drop down below the camera to make love.

Int. Video STORE. night

WYATT is envious of the romance he sees being played out before him.

Wyatt

(to himself)

Why can't it be that easy?

But, suddenly, a CUSTOMER appears at WYATT'S counter - from out of nowhere.

Customer

(to Wyatt)

Hey, do you guys have the new Johnny Cruise movie on VHS? I hate these new DVD thingys. They're always scratched!

Wyatt

Uh...yep, right this way, Sir.

Int. Video store - the back. night

WYATT leads the CUSTOMER to the section of "Johnny Cruise movies" and grabs a copy of "Weird Science meets Last Action Hero" from off the shelf.

Customer

(taking the video)

Thanks.

The CUSTOMER notices another video on the shelf and can't help but do a double-take.

Customer (CONT'D)

Wow, you guys actually carry "Sister Act meets Stop or my Mom Will Shoot"?

Wyatt

Yeah, you want that too?

CUSTOMER

No way! I saw that movie when it came out in the theater and I barfed up the tuna fish I had for lunch. By far Johnny Cruise's worst movie.

Wyatt

Yeah, well, nobody's rented it for as long as I've been working here.

CUSTOMER

That a fact...

WYATT blows dust off the video.

Suddenly, there is noise coming from the "adult video" closet - quickly followed by a quiet...

Voice

(from inside the closet)

Shit.

WYATT gives the CUSTOMER an awkward smile.

WYATT

Will that be all?

Int. Video store - the front. NIGHT

WYATT finishes ringing up the CUSTOMER.

Wyatt

And there ya go. Enjoy the movie.

Customer

Thanks.

WYATT sees the CUSTOMER out of the store with a customer-friendly smile.

But as soon as the CUSTOMER is gone, WYATT loses his smile and speed-walks his way to the adult video closet.

Int. video store - adult video closet. Night

WYATT storms up to the closet and gives the door a firm knock.

Wyatt

Come on, Gary! Get outta there! You're gonna get me in trouble!!!

After a moment, the door clicks open. GARY steps out. His face looks flushed.

Gary

I don't get it, Wyatt.

WYATT

What?

GARY

There's so much sex going on out there. And we're missing out on all of it.

WYATT shoos GARY out of the closet.

WYATT

Come on, you're not eighteen yet. Get out!

GARY scurries out and WYATT slams the door back shut.

Gary

How many people are in this world, Wyatt?

WYATT

Huh?

GARY

What's the population? How many people?

WYATT

I dunno...billions. Hundreds of billions. Possibly trillions.

GARY

And how'd they all get here?

WYATT

What do you mean how'd they all get here? They...they...

GARY

Sex, Wyatt. They're all here because somebody got laid. Everybody's getting laid, like, every second of the day. Right now as I speak, there's at least a couple thousand people getting action. That's a fact.

WYATT

Hey, Gary. You're only sixteen years old. You'll have lots of sex some day.

GARY

Yeah...I guess you're right.

WYATT

Come on: let's go pop in "Weird Science meets Last Action Hero".

Int. Video store - johnny cruise section. night

WYATT starts removing a copy of "Weird Science meets Last Action Hero" from the shelf.

But GARY grabs his hand.

Gary

Hold on, Wyatt.

Wyatt

What?

GARY

I don't think I'm in the mood for this movie.

WYATT

What are you talking about? You've been waiting months for this thing to come out on video.

GARY

I know, but I'm not in the mood for an actiony movie. I'm too depressed. I need a good laugh.

wyatt

Well, what, then?

He searches the rack of Johnny Cruise movies.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

"Austin Powers meets Pee Wee's Big Adventure?"

GARY

Nah.

WYATT

"American Pie meets Old School"?

GARY

Nah.

WYATT

Well, how about...

He searches some more.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

How about a feel-good movie? Like "Mighty Ducks meets Rudy"?

Gary

No. No. No, Wyatt.

GARY spots a movie in the top right corner of the shelf.

Gary (CONT'D)

You know what I'm in the mood for? "Sister Act meets Stop or My Mom Will Shoot".

Wyatt

What?! Are you crazy? I'd rather watch a pile of dog crap steam for ninety minutes!

GARY

Come on, Wyatt...it'll be fun. We can make fun of it while we watch. You know, like they do on "Mystery Science Theater 3000".

GARY removes the dusty movie from the shelf and...wait a minute. There's something behind it:

It's a lever! A lever that says...

"Pull me!"

GARY sees the lever.

Gary

What the...

WYATT sees it, too.

Wyatt

What the hell is that?

GARY

You never knew this was here?

WYATT

No. That video hasn't been moved in years.

GARY

What's it for?

WYATT

I don't know.

GARY

Well, only one way to find out...

GARY goes to pull it.

But WYATT stops him.

WYATT

Wait!

GARY freezes.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

Maybe I should call my supervisor.

GARY

Maybe. Or maybe I could just...

He pulls the lever.

The wall starts to rotate and the secret passageway is revealed.

GARY'S jaw drops.

Gary (CONT'D)

...pull it.

WYATT can't believe what he's seeing.

Wyatt

Holy shit.

GARY

You never knew about this?

WYATT

No way.

GARY slowly turns his head towards WYATT.

GARY

Well?

WYATT

Well, what?

GARY

Shall we?

GARY takes a step into the passageway.

Wyatt

Wait! I don't think we should be going in there.

Gary

Oh, come on, Wyatt! Stop being such a wuss. Let's check it out!

GARY disappears into the passageway.

WYATT hesitates for a few moments, but soon caves and follows GARY into the passage.

Int. The passage. Night

It is like a dark cavern or cave. Cobwebs are everywhere. Echoes. Water drips. Indiana Jones type-stuff.

GARY and WYATT stumble their way through the dark passage. GARY grabs a flaming torch from off the wall and uses it to navigate through the darkness.

Gary

(voice echoing)

Whoa! This is incredible!

WYATT, however, is less enthusiastic. Tons of cobwebs are getting stuck in his face and the footing in the cavern is terrible.

Wyatt

Gary, where are you?! I can't see!

Int. LaBORATORY. NIGHT

The secret laboratory is no different from how MR. CRAVEN left it when he died - only more dusty and cob-webby.

There is noise. Voices. Echoes.

Soon, GARY pokes his head into the lab.

Gary

Holy shit!

WYATT'S head appears above GARY'S.

Wyatt

Oh...my...God.

GARY

Wyatt! It's a secret laboratory!

They look at the amazing mad scientist-like laboratory:

Candles are still burning. Little electric nodes are buzzing. Bunsen burners steaming. Everything is up and running.

And then...WYATT sees something on the floor.

WYATT

God, Gary! Look! On the floor!!!

GARY looks.

There is a skeleton.

Gary

Holy shit!

WYATT starts to freak out.

WYATT

All right, Gary...that's all I had to see. I'm calling the police.

He starts to leave.

But GARY grabs him.

GARY

Wait, Wyatt! Calm down. It's all right.

WYATT

What do you mean it's all right? There's a dead guy in here!

GARY

Exactly, he's dead. He's not gonna hurt us.

WYATT is hesitant.

Gary (CONT'D)

Come on, let's check this place out.

GARY creeps his way further into the lab.

WYATT reluctantly follows close behind.

The two curious teens move closer to the skeleton.

And closer.

And closer.

GARY suddenly notices something else...right beside the skeleton:

Another skeleton! But a smaller one. A bird's skeleton!

Gary

(pointing)

Look!

WYATT sees the other skeleton.

Wyatt

Sick.

GARY crouches beside Mr. Craven's skeleton, pinches the lab coat with his fingers, lifts it up a tad and peeks beneath it.

GARY

Wyatt! He's wearing the same uniform you are!

WYATT studies the uniform and finds the name-tag.

WYATT

(reading the name-tag)

Mr. Craven...

A light bulb suddenly turns on inside his head.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

Oh, Jesus. I know who this guy is!

GARY

Who?!

WYATT

Mr. Craven! The guy who founded this place! He mysteriously disappeared many, many years ago. Nobody ever knew what happened to him. They figured he was dead.

GARY

Well, looks like they figured right.

WYATT takes another look around the mysterious lab.

WYATT

What the hell was he doing back here???

GARY hops to his feet and notices something on the operating table.

GARY

(pointing to the table)

Hey! Look, Wyatt!!!

The strange VCR is still on the table, just where the wacky MR. CRAVEN left it.

WYATT

What is that?

GARY

It looks like...

They lean closer to the strange machine.

Wyatt

It looks like a VCR.

GARY

A weird-looking VCR.

They both take an even closer look.

Wyatt

What the hell was he doing with it?

GARY

Beats me.

GARY scopes out the rest of the laboratory for any clues.

He sees a fat, dusty journal in the far corner of the room.

He runs and grabs it!

Wyatt

What's that?

GARY blows a bunch of dust off the book and opens it up.

GARY

It's a journal.

He pages through it.

Gary (CONT'D)

(reading)

Ever since I was a boy I fantasized about being friends with my favorite movie stars. I wanted to somehow pull my favorite movie character out of the movies and into my life.

GARY slowly looks up from the journal.

WYATT is confused.

GARY buries his face back into the journal and continues reading.

GARY (CONT'D)

(reading)

Now, I have finally...

GARY stutters.

GARY (CONT'D)

...finally found a way. While I was washing my hair in the shower today I had a vision. Of a machine. But not just any machine. A VCR. A...

He looks up from the journal.

GARY (CONT'D)

...magic VCR.

WYATT gulps.

Wyatt

A...MAGIC...VCR???

GARY slams the dusty journal shut. His eyes become glazed with a look of madness.

GARY

Wyatt, do you realize what we've found?!

WYATT

A magic VCR?

GARY

Yeah, that's what it looks like.

WYATT

Come on, Gary. That's a lotta hooey. Are we really supposed to believe this VCR has the power to pull movie stars out of the movies?

GARY

That's what it says here.

WYATT

I don't believe it. This is rubbish.

GARY

Well...only one way to find out.

WYATT sees the wild look in GARY'S eyes. And he doesn't like it one bit.

WYATT

What? Oh. No! No way! We're leaving everything here just as we found it!!!

He starts to head back into the store.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

I'm calling my supervisor...

GARY runs over and blocks his path.

GARY

Come on, Wyatt! Think about this for a minute.

WYATT stops where he is.

GARY slithers his arm around WYATT'S shoulders.

Gary (CONT'D)

If this thing does what it's supposed to do...think about what could happen.

He walks WYATT around the lab, sweet-talking him like a used car salesman.

GARY (CONT'D)

How many kids in our school would die to be friends with a movie star?

Wyatt

Um...probably everyone, I guess.

GARY

Exactly. So what do you think's gonna happen if we're friends with a movie star???

WYATT

Um...I guess we'd be pretty cool.

GARY

Instant popularity, Wyatt. Like...

He snaps his fingers.

Gary (CONT'D)

...that.

WYATT

Yeah, but...

GARY totally ignores him.

GARY

Wyatt, my friend, if we're friends with a movie star, everyone's gonna love us. Girls, Wyatt. All the girls in the world will love us. Especially girls by the name of...

GARY'S eyes widen with madness.

Gary (CONT'D)

(whispering)

...Lindsay Myers.

WYATT'S eyes become as mad as GARY'S. He likes what he hears.

Wyatt

But who would we...

GARY'S eyebrows wiggle up and down.

Wyatt (CONT'D)

...pull out?

Gary

Do you really have to ask that question?

Int. Video store - at passageway entrance. night

GARY bursts out of the secret passageway, cradling the magic VCR and dusty journal in his arms.

WYATT is right behind him.

Wyatt

Are you sure you want it to be Johnny?

Gary

Who else would we do?

WYATT

I don't know. It might be kinda cool being friends with Humphrey Bogart or someone like that.

Int. Video store - at tv. night

GARY runs up to the TV and starts screwing the magic VCR's coaxial cable into the back of it.

Gary

Yeah, like, if we wanted to get with my grandmother.

WYATT nervously speed-walks to the front of the store.